imaginary friend: what's troubling you?
me: this. *points to the PC's monitor*
i.f: and do you think that'll help you?
me: obviously not.
i.f: and so, what will you do about 'this'?
me: we will kill. we will avenge. we will give misery.
i.f: that's bullshit.
me: why?
i.f: simply because the universe is so vast.
me: we're not talking about the universe damn it!
i.f: of course we're not. it's still a needle in a hay stack.
me: we are talking about them still right? so why is it a needle? shouldn't it be needles?!
i.f: screw you, i talk my own language woah-man.


...



me: tsk. why are you still here anyway? you should have been long gone.
i.f: when you're lonely. i'm always here.
me: i'm not lonely now.
i.f: sure you are. you're in denial.
me: no, i'm not.
i.f: now now. you do know that i only come around when you're lonely right?
me: no, i don't know.
i.f: you're such a liar. ever heard of a story about the boy who cried 'wolf! wolf!'?
me: yes. and so?
i.f: you're the wolf.
me: I'm the wolf? what the fuck?!!
i.f: wolves are liars.
me: and your point is?
i.f: i never knew a wolf could cry.



...



me: i need a nose job. i fucking hate my nose!
i.f: you need a blow job as well.
me: i don't have a dick.
i.f: pretend you have one then.
me: ah tsk. then what, you're gonna blow my imaginary dick? how apt.
i.f: i'm no gay man.
me: fuck you. i'm just telling you that i need a nose job.
i.f: alright here. SUCK MY NOSE THEN!
me: FUCK YOU!!!



...




me: do you think he's lying to me?
i.f: well, what do you think?
me: i think he is.
i.f: how's that so?
me: look here. *points to the monitor's screen* see?
i.f: and what's that?
me: they're still at it. i think they're still together. he's just lying. i'm probably just something.
i.f: something?
me: something to fill up his time i guess. until they're better.
i.f: better? better in what?
me: i don't know.
i.f: if you feel that way, then why do you bother trying?
me: because.
me:because...
i.f: because....???
me: because the other part of me tells me that he's not.
i.f: you're dumb. your other part is me. so it's you who thinks that he's not.
me: i choose which part i want to stand in. you just shut up and drive.
i.f: drive? we're not in a car and you don't have a car. you don't even have a license.
me: make one up then, asshole.