She.
She could not remember the word, that particular word. She stood by the window and stared into space. She was longing. Longing for his return. It had been years. Almost forever. Pictures and photographs scattered across the study table and on the floor. Painful memories and bruises that just would not heal, but it was these memories and the unkept promises that kept her alive. As alive as she possibly could. Trusting and believing in just a mere word, she dwelled in the past. The word that meant so much to her then, she had forgotten. She stumbled through her thoughts. She wondered where she was going, where was she heading. Home. Confining herself in the big house alone, she was lonely. There was no home. There was no one. She felt she belong to no one and to nothing except to her recollections.
She was happy because she smiled, but for how long can she fake? She got a pretty smile that covered the poisons that she hid. Once, she was worried that nobody would like her. Being ordinary was not good anymore. Ordinary, was nothing anymore. Him. He made her felt special. Made her felt more than just ordinary. Thoughts of him filled her ethreal soul, feeding on her lustful heart, walked in her mind. Honesty is a hard attribute to find but he was perfect. Deep set eyes, the colour of the coals, his unchaste lips and his toned body had refused to leave her mind. She would give up anything to feel him and hear his voice once again. She felt less than ordinary now. Her eyes went burning red, tears was choking in her throat. She missed him. Missed him more than anyone should. Most people would fight for wars, for their rights, for peace, while she… She was fighting for her sanity.
The sarcastic faces and the arrogants have had always build kingdoms and empires around them, the reason why she locked herself in her room, her house. Her cage and yet her comfort, her solace, her haven. Every night she would collapse down at the feet of God up in the heavens, praying and begging, that by the time she would wake up the next morning, everything would be as normal and what was real was just a dream.
Anna. That rich and powerful Anna had preyed upon her confidence, her charms and her beauty. Anna. The one that took away her home and killed her strengths, her trust and her purpose. Anna took everything away from her, even him. Anna could do whatever she wanted. To repay his father’s wagered debt, he had no other choice but to make Anna her bride. A man who felt nothing for his bride and a bride who bought her man. Anna. White picket fences. A mirage of a real life. Anna. A cathartic reaction to the psychography of people anyone would all rather much do without. Anna had liquidated her arcadia. There was absolutely nothing that she could do but cry. Yet, with all the power and money that Anna had, Anna was not able to ravish her hopes. Her hopes that one day, it will all be alright, it will be good and it will all be fine, just fine…
A loud sigh, she turned around. Then stopped and gazed. A familiar face stood in front of her. A soft smile on his face. Her eyes wide and her expression, gawked. He pointed to the door, it was not locked. Blood rushed to her head, almost blinding her sight. It was him. The one whom she had been longing and waiting for. To shocked to move, she stood there like a tree while the wind blew her hair and her clothes gently and he paced himself slowly towards her. Their eyes met and he looked at her in adoration. He leaned over and put his arms around her, holding her tightly in a bittersweet embrace.
She rested her head on his broad shoulders, breathing in of his scent. A scent that was so uniquely his. Her pain ceased. Their hearts palpitated as one. Slowly, she looked up to his face, and stared at him. She had waited to long to see him. To have him stand in front of her and to be entwined together was all that she had been hoping for, even if it was for a short while. She knew that he had to go soon enough.
Their lips pulled closer and he kissed her, softly and sweetly at first and then strong, yet gentle still. Her spine was tingling. It was somewhat worth the wait. And gently, once again, he pulled away. Cupped her face in his hands and stoke it tenderly. A tear rolled down her cheeks but she was smiling.
I am sorry, but I had to do what I had to do. Burn and bury all the promises that I once gave you…
He whispered. A word, replied not, but reddened eyes and a tattered heart.
But this… This I promise you. If I go before you do, I’d sit outside heaven’s door while I listen to you breathing, and I’ll wait, no matter how long it will take until you gracefully fall back into the arms of Grace…
Because I love you.
He whispered once more and gave her a kiss on the forehead. He gave her another tight lock before he let her go and walked towards the door and closing the door behind him. Without a wave or even a goodbye.
Love. Yes. Love. That was the word that she was looking for. It had been years and so long that she had forgotten what love meant. Love was filling her veins once more. A surge of utopia.
Many have told her that she was stupid enough to wait for a man, or it was all a mistake, she would not really care although the thought of it had crossed over her mind. If stupidity was cause of the such, then some of the most epical stories such as Romeo and Juliet, Samson and Delilah, Orpheus and Eurydice, Hamlet and Ophelia; she would be guilty as charged. A mistake? She would believe that it was all a beautiful mistake.
She was tired. Tired of pretending that she was okay. Tired of finding her way through the tainted hue pavements of her life. But that day was the strike of a match, the light from a candle, the lines in the pavement to guide her way back home.
She had traded her worth for these scars, yet still, her soul and her heart was dancing just like an angel should.
END.
